Being Depressing

I know most people will disagree with me here. But I did not like this book, Being Mortal. The first part should be subtitled: Being Judgmental. Because the author most definitely is. He regales us about his grandfather's glorious life in India up to the truly impressive age of 110, revered by the family, contributing wisdom regarding business decisions and riding around on his horse pretty much right up to the end, and surrounded by supportive and loving kin, as one's parents should be. Or at least that's the way it read to me. Over and over. Let's keep in mind, though, that Dr. Gawande, the author, grew up in freaking Ohio. That's pretty far from an aging grandpa back in the homeland who is probably incontinent at times, forgetting to turn off the stove, and likely wandering the house at night. I'd love to get the report from the folks who were actually shouldering that load. Then we move on to the next recommended subtitle: Being Dismal. You thought you were pretty healthy? Um, no! You are dying as you read, and have, in fact, been doing so since your 30s or so. Every system is described in gruesome detail about how it starts to fail before you're probably even done having children. Then, you think, "Well, that's okay. There are lots of great options for aging people nowadays compared to years ago." Ha. That's what you think. You might as well be in prison they way they treat people in elder care facilities, and in fact, you'll decline faster by being there. Every. Dang. Page. So. Bleak. I received this book as a gift, so I read it from cover to cover, but honestly could read no more than a page or two at a time for the first 65% or so, and it made me longingly consider signing up for euthanasia. I'll save you the pain and give you the bottom line:

•  If [your loved ones] need to go to any kind of assisted living, independence, privacy and autonomy seem to make all the difference in happiness, and despite family’s and health officials’ fears about safety, they tend to live longer, even without being hovered over.

• Talk to your peeps about their wishes in case they have a serious illness—what’s important to them, what would make their life worth living.

Dr. Gawande could have made his point in an online article (1/2 page of an old-fashioned magazine) with bullet points and skipped the suicide-inducing initial 150 pages. If he’d done that, though, he wouldn’t have achieved what apparently makes his life worth living—making a whopping pile of $. Those two bullet points are valid and valuable, but the rest is horrible.