Coulda Been an Article

Wow. Have you ever had that friend who, say, showed up to your house with a big dent in the side of their car? You ask, "How'd you get that dent?" The conversation goes something like this:

Him: Well, the other day I was leaving to go to the store, and you'll never believe it--a KANGAROO was jumping down the street and bounded right into my driveway!

You: Oh, so the kangaroo ran into your car? Crazy!

Him: No . . . he hopped right over my car. But as he jumped down the street, I got into my car because I really needed some groceries. Anyway, as I backed out of the driveway, there were cops and animal control cars all driving fast trying to catch up with the kangaroo.

You: Oh, so one of the cars hit you.

Him: No . . . I stopped in time. I really pride myself on my backing up abilities. But the guy down the street was having a new yard put in and had some diggers and loaders working in front of his house. That guy is so interesting. He used to be a spy and met his wife when he was an agent in Russia. She used to be the president of the PTA and did a really good job. Probably because they take no guff in Russia!

You: Oh, so did one of the workers hit your car? The guy? The Russian lady?

Him: No, they were doing a good job, and the neighbors weren't outside. But as I drove by, I noticed their dog was out and running all around, chasing the kangaroo!

You: Oh my . . . did the dog run into your car, or were you trying to avoid him? Did you hit something because of that?

Him: No, no. That dog shot right down the sidewalk and almost caught that 'roo! But a couple of houses down, they were pruning a tree, and one of the branches fell right across the sidewalk, almost hitting the kangaroo AND the dog. Then after missing them, it tipped right into the street.

You: Oh, I get it. You ran into the big branch.

Him: Heck, no. I always drive conservatively and give myself plenty of time to stop. That's why I get that discount. Have you checked into that? It's really a great deal and if you're a careful driver you should be able to get it without a problem.

(Keep going for about 350 pages . . . )

You: So, can you tell me how you got the dent?

Him: Oh, not sure. When I came out of the grocery store, it was like that.

Well, that's how it felt. Good writing, but dang, there was a lot said about lots of things. It also reminded me of that room in the movie A Beautiful Mind. Strings and papers, and connections everywhere, so you didn't really know where the focus should be. And in the end, the dent was really not an amazing story after all.